I have developed a fixation on a woman

Still in college I got pregnant from my first time. After a lot of whining and begging the father married me. I had a daughter, and graduated with his name and three month old baby. I went back home while he got a job to earn money. I lived at home for five years until he bought a house for us. And immediately getting pregnant. 

I turn forty. I have never loved my husband. I quit counting his one night stands and office affairs. The only way I ever had an orgasm was when he came home with a wet whistle and got on me. Visions running in my imagination of what he had just done with that girl. 

I've raised both children to love and respect their father. He is our provider. I dream often of this woman I do volunteer work with. She's never been married, and told me she's never been with a man, 'why should she?' The dreams are vivid and it leads to quiet masturbation beside my husband. 

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you get to chat with her. Keep us posted on your progress.