I orgasmed when I was raped

So I'm um 16 and I've only had sex a few 'd been kinda flirting with from another school. Like it's super nice but ive never orgasmed from sex before, only a few times fingering myself.

Me and my friends were hanging out at a lake one night last weekend but I walked away from them into the Forrest becuase I had to go to pee. When I was in there I heard someone creeping up on me and he grabbed me and put something in my mouth and like pushed me over a rock and raped me.

I was like really embarassed and angry but once his penis was starting to fuck me it also felt like really good like better than sex id have before and it made me orgasm twice before he stopped.

Im so confused and humiliated because I really really liked how it felt but I shouldn't and it was way better than any other sex I've had and I can't tell anyone about it because they'd think I'm a slut or something

Hmm maybe youve discovered youre a little submissive girl that likes men who take control of your body and use it for their pleasure. Lots of girls do

I don't Like I don't really know but that sounds so wrong and so good too.. Even if I did how do I even find a boy like that?

Not a uncommon experience adrenaline mixed with sexual contact. Many women orgasm during rape. Many men have used that as justification claiming that it proved {They Wanted It} it does not it is part of old instinct to help you survive rape. You are not anything other than a Rape Victim whose body did what it was made to do. Unfortunately it can leave a victim with untold amounts of guilt and shame. Mixed with your belief not unfounded that you would get labeled negatively. Posting here just to be able to get it out. 

It will likely influence how you enjoy sex it the future. For some it profoundly shifts what they find arousing for others it ruins sex for the rest of their life. Embrace it and tell a boy you like you want him to be forceful and make you orgasm for him. You may open up and recreate with consent what worked that night.

If you have issues get real counseling. Almost no one becomes a rape counselor without having been raped. As a male I was 10 years old and a 19 and 20 year old male raped me. 50 years later I can tell you. That changed my life and took many years to resolve. With consent I still recreate that energy from their side fucking women it is stuck in my head and makes me orgasm harder than any other sex act.