Reply: The making of a wife in America

I was born in south america and grew up there and went to school there. I received a scholarship to study at an american university. I started in science but discovered business and switched over. My university social circle was almost exclusively students from all over latin america. I didn't have romantic relationships and I discovered the professional world. I did an internship with a large accounting firm and that became my focus, I switched my major from general business to accounting. I graduated with very good grades, I had always done very well in school, and I was offered a one year assignment to the accounting firm, as a foreign student. I fell in love with the work and the 'image' of a professional. A partner in the firm, who dealt with interns and foreign students, unofficially counseled me to get married, or I would have to return to my country. 

Everything in me was against it. But returning to the backward undeveloped world was worse, there was no room for me. I would have to work in some position in the family business. I had seen professionals, no one in my family or any one working for them were remotely professionals. This partner who helped me introduced me to a man who had grown up in latin america, spoke spanish but was an american. He could use a wife.  I heard 'use', and rejected the idea. But the day was coming for me to have to return to my country. This partner had convinced this man that I was good wife material, latin born and raised, and submissive. I got married with only weeks to spare and that's how I stayed to become american. 

Now to the real life, to be 'used' as a wife, to fall upon me, to insist on children. Sex was the worse part, I rejected it, I was not submissive. I didn't care about the cooking and cleaning part, I could do that, what I couldn't do was willingly have sex with him. To use the expression, I was frigid and cold and rejected sex. He found a girlfriend at work and he used her for sex. But she wanted to get married. And she ran off with a man she met at a party. Leaving me to have to put up with my husband. I had a six month vacation, now it was worse than before, and he insisted on getting me pregnant. To me being pregnant was a public admission that a man had sex with me. I hid my pregnancy for as long as possible. My husband still wanted sex, and I will confess that I never thought or did oral sex, or even manual sex, I had to accept sex from him on my knees and my head in the pillow. He had sex with me, used me, like a street dog mounts a street bitch in the alley.

But through this I couldn't hate him. I understood on a level that he wasn't the one being bad, it was me. I didn't understand my feelings. I was his 'wife' even if I didn't want to be and he had the right to have sex with me. I knew that, I understood that, but I didn't like that. It was another woman, at that time we said we were girls, that told me one day in a very kind way, hey, you might well be lesbian. And she stood up and came over to me and put her hand under my breast and kissed me on the lips for a well over a minute. "I'm a lesbian, you are a lesbian". She still had her hand on my breast and my hand over hers. The second kiss was even longer. "From the day I met you I knew you were lesbian", and she kissed me a third time. 

This was my problem, this is why I was frigid. I 'made love' with my friend, six months pregnant. I did what I had never imagined I would be doing, being naked in a bed with another woman, kissing her most private part and not wanting to stop doing it. But I still had a husband and I just couldn't have sex with him. So she offered to have sex with him for me. Unlike me she was never frigid, she had sex with him, and she was mating on purpose. She was determined to get a baby out of him, tell him later. Once she was 'good and pregnant' we told him. He didn't care, he took her back to the room and 'showed' her he would 'use' her too. And he did. 

Our babies were six months apart and after her baby came she offered to the one to stay home with them.  If my husband kissed her she kissed him, if he grabbed her she let him grab her, if he tore off her pants, she opened her legs for him. Someone had to be the 'wife', and she decided she would be the 'wife'. She never refused sex, she performed oral sex on him, she picked up his underwear off the bathroom floor, she stood beside him when she served him. He wanted a 'wife', well now he had a 'wife'. 

But, it was time for us to grow the family, and he took us like alleyway bitches and got us pregnant again. For some unexplainable reason, I was more willing to become pregnant, I'm sure it was because 'we' were going to have babies. 

We got through our twenties with four babies between us, we lived together just the two of us with our babies, but he wanted a 'wife' with him, so we moved back in with him. She has always been the 'wife', she loves to serve him and cater to him. She has stayed home running the house and raising the children. I stayed in my world, a professional in a woman professional world. I became Manager before setting up my own tax practice. I can afford to focus on my practice, because I have a wife and family at home that I go home to. My husband still puts his hands on me, he has to, and so I don't make a liar out of my intern boss from back then, I 'have to be submissive'.